Mother’s Day can present a conundrum to preachers, pastors, and ministry leaders. It is not a holiday of the church year, per se, but many congregations have traditions surrounding it. Yet might it be an opportunity to explore what is missing from our theology, teaching, or preaching, related to mothering?
Seeing the women who are mothers
A fun fact about Mother’s Day is that it was originally celebrated in a church! Anna Jarvis, an active member of Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia, promoted a Christian liturgy for mothers in 1908. Much to her chagrin, Mother’s Day became overly commercialized throughout the 20th century. But it is still worth celebrating Mother’s Day in the church because it gives congregations the opportunity to tell women who are mothers that God and the Christian community see their work. So many women do so much unpaid household labor, so much emotional labor holding families together, and so much cognitive work keeping track of the schedules, health, and wealth of their families. For the church to affirm this important work of people-making means that the Christian community understands the difficulties with which so many women live.
Mothers are not the Virgin Mary
Although a mother and her son—the Virgin Mary and Jesus—stand at the center of the Christian faith, the church has found it easy to hide behind their static beauty. The church has insisted that women find salvation in childbirth (1 Timothy 2:15), and that the highest calling for a woman is to become a mother. We know that neither of these is true. Not all women want to become mothers. Not all women are able to become mothers. And tragically, there are many mothers who have hurt, neglected, or traumatized their children. Human mothers are far from the ideal of the Virgin Mother. Furthermore, many modern mothers do not see their children as their salvation or singular calling in life; they have other passions and gifts to share with the world.
The diversity of women’s mothering experiences
One barrier to serving and seeing mothers is the sheer diversity of mothering experiences. Mothering is as unique as each person doing it. For many women, giving birth was a highlight of their experiences as mothers, while for others birthing was a trauma. Many women become mothers by fostering or adopting a child. Some people choose to be mothers to relatives’ children, as aunties, godparents, or cousins. Still others are mothers to animals in their care or to other vulnerable people in their lives. One thing is clear, whether one becomes a mother biologically or in some other way: Mothers are made. Some people are thrust into mothering roles before they are ready. Some wait decades. In any case, mothers are not singular beings. They exist within a complex, intimate community with the ones for whom they care. People are made into mothers.
The disciplines of mothering
Mothers are made through the acts and disciplines of mothering. This means that anyone, of any age or gender, can be a mother. When someone shapes their life around the daily care, protection, affection, training, and teaching of someone who is dependent upon them, they are a mother. Mothering is a specific set of practices that open up one’s life to the needs, vulnerabilities, and gifts of someone who depends upon them. The practice of paying attention to the physical, intellectual, and emotional needs of another—often at the expense of one’s own needs—is a primary act of mothering, no matter one’s age or gender. Letting oneself and one’s thoughts be interrupted by the presence of the needs of another is an act of mothering.
The maternal thinking of God
There is language in the Bible for these kinds of maternal, people-making practices. When Paul speaks of training people up in faith, he is speaking of maternal practices (Ephesians 6:4). When Jesus speaks of gathering his people into his arms like a mother hen, he is speaking of God’s maternal desires (Luke 13:34; Matthew 23:37). When Hosea speaks of God’s wrath like a mother bear without her cubs, he is speaking of God’s maternal protection (Hosea 13:8).
The 11th-century monastic leader St. Bernard of Clairvaux claimed that Jesus himself was a mother because Jesus consistently employed maternal thinking when dealing with the world. Jesus allowed vulnerable people around him to interrupt his time, like the woman who poured expensive oil over his head (Matthew 26). He physically touched people, like the blind man (John 9). He welcomed children into his bosom (Matthew 19). Jesus is our Mother. He understands human vulnerability and human need. He understands the child within all of us. The 14th-century anchorite Julian of Norwich wrote about God as a Mother. The maternal God reacts to our sin not by punishing or shaming us, but by scooping us up and holding us close. God is a mothering God.
“Mothering Day”
Perhaps it is time to celebrate “Mothering Day.” Christians can show the world on Mothering Day that God is not a harsh, punitive, warrior God, but a God who opens up God’s arms to us in our deepest needs. God sees our faces, whether we be laughing or crying, and God laughs or cries with us. God feeds us (Matthew 14). When we are lost, God goes out and looks for us (Luke 15). When God finds us, God celebrates like the woman who finds her lost coin (Luke 15). The disciplines of the Christian faith are not only prayer, fasting, striving for justice, and bowing to the Lord. They are also made up of care, affection, protection, training, and teaching. The future may or may not be female, but it is maternal.
